I was born into a traditional Catholic family in the 1950’s, and as far back as I can remember, I have believed in the existence of God. The wonder of creation was clear evidence of a supreme being, but I did not believe in a personal God. God created me and everything around me, but I had no sense that God was involved in any part of my life. That all began to change in 2013.
Being Catholic, I was not encouraged to read the Bible. I vividly recall my father even telling me not to try because I was unable or unqualified. He was right. I tried a couple of times, but I was not impacted in any sense. In 2013, however, I went through a personal crisis which resulted in my joining my first Bible study class. I will never forget standing in the back of the room and being impacted by something from the book of Job. A nerve was struck, and my curiosity was awakened such that I was drawn to seek understanding of His Word.
Being a salesman with much windshield time, I began listening to RC Sproul, Tim Keller, and Martin Lloyd-Jones; and have since read 100’s of books related to theology. A much deeper understanding of God and man presumably developed, and I became well-versed in the doctrines that arose from the Reformation movement. And when I retired in 2019, my greatest passion became the study of the Bible. I completed one semester at Liberty University, but I realized that the seminary environment was not the place for me. Since then, I have been a full-time student of scripture, particularly the Old Testament. And during those years, I experienced a growing sense that there was a deeper understanding that I was missing.
I will elaborate later about my journey, but perhaps the proverbial lightbulb lit up after reading Ray Stedman’s commentary on Esther (https://www.raystedman.org/old-testament/esther). His perspective of God’s Word as a depiction of our inner spiritual world began to take root and develop my understanding. I began to approach God’s Word for revelation of the world within me and not of the world around me. In contrast to my previous perspective, this new perspective totally changed my Bible study from an often boring and fruitless effort into the most exciting and meaningful thing that I will ever do. My thought life evolved into constant meditation on God’s Word, and much to my surprise the insights gained were much different than what I expected. The more I studied and meditated, it became apparent that I could not read the Bible in any other way. The scripture made sense in new ways, and I was being hugely impacted. Now, instead of imagining God as impersonal, I am constantly being overwhelmed as He reveals my true inner world and His plan for me through this life and into the next. The question became: what should I do with these new insights?
My first inclination was to keep the insights to myself. Other than Stedman’s commentary, I found no one else truly pursuing the spiritual perspective. I did find, however, much resistance to the idea. Most seminaries and theologians despise “spiritualizing” the Bible, so I tried to convince myself that these insights should remain with me. I enjoyed, and now will always enjoy, reading and meditating on God’s Word more than anything else, so I wondered whether this understanding was meant just for me. Yet mostly, I absolutely dreaded the prospect of trying to share my thinking with others because I knew that most people would immediately reject my thinking; and even worse, I knew that I would sense many people rejecting me. After all, who am I to claim that I have been given a unique understanding? However, the implications are too significant to keep to myself, so I felt compelled to share my thinking.
Of course, never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined that one day I would write a book about God’s Word that was totally different than anything I had ever read. Even more stunning is to be writing a book that claims God’s Word as absolute truth, yet also claims that all Christian religions are false and a deceptive work inspired by the god of this world. I pity myself when I consider how my book will be despised by everyone, both religious and non-religious people.
Obviously, suggesting that I have been given a unique understanding is perhaps grounds for insanity. And certainly, any religious person will be offended by my claims that they are following a false religion, and that God’s Word proves that every person ever conceived will be “saved” in a certain sense. Of course, any mention of “universalism” is heretical thinking for most Christian religions, yet that is the only conclusion that makes sense. And the non-religious people will likely be offended by my claims that the Bible proves the existence of God, and that everyone will be “judged” in a certain sense by His Word. Frankly, having this unique understanding makes me feel lonely because there is no one currently in my life who is willing to thoughtfully discuss my thinking, so please know that the idea of promoting a concept that will either be hated or patently dismissed by perhaps everyone is disconcerting.
There are several thoughts that I hope you will consider before reading my book. First, I did not choose to believe what I believe, rather I sense that the understanding was imposed on me. Because, other than the trigger from Stedman’s commentary, every thought that I will share is based solely on the understanding provided by God’s Word. Notably, I even disagree with most of Stedman’s conclusions, so I cannot even claim his support of the spiritual perspective. Perhaps there have been others who went down this road, but I have not based my thinking on any source other than the typical canon of 66 books. And, if you knew me, then you would also wonder how an analytical person who hated to read stories about people could ever be passionate about reading God’s Word. My passion from childhood was math, and still to this day I have tremendous difficulty following the storyline of a two-hour movie. Yet, after much digging and meditation, the biblical story of Israel has taken on a life of its own in my mind, and I cannot claim any credit for my new understanding because I sense that I have only discovered something that was already there.
The second thought that I hope you will consider is that I am not trying to convince anyone to believe my understanding. Frankly, according to my understanding, it is literally impossible for anyone to casually accept my thinking as truth. I will argue that my understanding is a gift from God, and that everyone will eventually adopt the exact same understanding at some point in their eternal existence. However, in order for anyone to perceive the truth that I perceive, it will require a relegation of any and all preconceived understandings, and a diligent search to perceive the new understanding. So, imagine the gall of me to suggest that I have received a special gift from God, and that the only way anyone can accept my understanding is to first disbelieve all of your current core beliefs, and then you must devote thousands of hours in God’s Word before you can come to the same understanding. Arguably, there will be very few people this side of death who are willing to make that commitment. So, instead of trying to convince you to accept my understanding, please realize that my primary goal is just to make you aware of the spiritual perspective.
The final thought to consider is that I laugh at myself for claiming any wisdom because I know that I am very early in my journey towards understanding, and that there is a huge amount of additional understanding yet to be revealed. In a sense, it feels like I have only discovered that 1+1=2. That is a huge step for someone who had no understanding of math, but the understanding is elementary at best. Yet, just as I learned in my study of engineering, I know that I am gaining understanding because I am realizing what I do not understand. Because, as any scientist will attest, the evidence of knowledge is when you begin to realize the intelligent questions that need to be answered. So, I am not claiming anything but a very simple understanding of the mysteries of God’s Word, but even that simple understanding is very deep when compared to the understanding proposed by religion.
Please know that this effort has caused me much anxiety, and I am royally pissed that I have to endure the persecution for sharing this understanding. I cannot be upset with God, because this falls under the category of being careful what you ask for. I asked persistently for wisdom, and that has been provided, so it is difficult to complain just because I am not getting the answers that I expected. However, I do feel a certain disdain for mankind, particularly the wise people who supposedly dedicate themselves to understanding the truth of God’s Word. This is not rocket science, and the only reason I discovered the understanding is because I immersed myself into God’s Word with an open mind. Again, the understanding is a gift from God, but arguably the same gift is given to anyone who diligently seeks and deeply meditates on the images within God’s Word.
My goal has become twofold; to provide a logical argument for the spiritual perspective, and to hopefully provide the “spark” that inspires others to consider a different perspective as they approach God’s Word, much like Stedman’s commentary did for me. Simply stated, my argument is that God has provided the story of Israel as a symbolic representation of the eternal spiritual existence of every individual person. It required thousands of hours of thought energy before I felt highly confident in that conclusion, and all subsequent understanding is based on that one overall perspective. Arguably, if you start with that same internal spiritual perspective, then you will ultimately derive the same understanding as I have obtained. Because, just as 1+1=2 is an absolute truth with no uncertainly or inconsistency, there is an absolute truth of God’s Word that every person will ultimately understand in their eternal existence. So, when do you want to begin your journey towards that new understanding?
Likely you will immediately say that you do not believe what I believe, but please know that what you are more likely saying is that I do not believe what you believe. Because, you cannot disagree with my thinking until you have thoughtfully considered it; therefore, my plea is that you struggle through my effort to at least consider my argument. Again, I am not seeking acceptance of my understanding, however, I do want you to be at least aware of the perspective. Because, even though the spiritual perspective may sound like total foolishness now, and you are 100% confident in your current understanding of the purpose of God’s Word, or confident that the Bible has no purpose whatsoever; hopefully you will quickly reconsider your perception when you somehow hear the same Word of God as you begin to experience life after death. Sadly, God’s Word depicts that a large part of our soul will continue to hold onto its own understanding even after death, so apparently many of you will likely perceive that I am a wack job for a very long time. Notably, if you do consider my argument, then you cannot use ignorance as an excuse if the spiritual perspective is later realized as God’s intent for approaching His Word. I will have done my job, and the next question after you read my effort will become; how long will you continue to stone your internal prophetic voice?
Please know that while I am questioning the wisdom of everyone’s thinking, I am not questioning anyone’s heart. People wear a cross or go to church for a variety of well-intentioned reasons; and most people, religious or not, are very kind. Yet, I would challenge everyone to consider their passion for reading God’s Word, because ultimately that might be the best indication of a heart seeking the true God. And, while your current perception of life after death is obscure or nonexistent, arguably there will still be the same three categories of forces that are currently keeping the mysteries of God’s Word from reaching your heart; Satan, the tribulation or persecution that arises because of the Word, and finally the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches. Frankly, I am fearful that those forces will be even more powerful after death, so I sense a strong desire to gain as much wisdom as possible while in this life. So, ask yourself, what is your current level of passion for meditating on God’s Word, and do you even consider the possibility of having a passion for His Word after death?
One final thought and request. Even though you probably perceive the spiritual perspective as foolishness, I am requesting that you forward my effort to others. Because, imagine how you would feel if you later realize that the spiritual perspective is God’s intent, and yet you had decided to keep that understanding from others. Therefore, please give others the opportunity to consider the thoughts for themselves, and allow them to decide how to proceed. Notably, I have no financial interest whatsoever in promoting this concept, and I am certainly not looking for acclaim. Frankly, I find it abhorrent that anyone would profit in any manner from sharing any understanding of God’s Word, unless they felt that they were promoting their own wisdom, and not God’s.
Please accept my apologies for causing many of you to stumble in your thinking of me because of the confrontational overtones you sense in my effort. I am arguing for the truth of God’s Word, and my passion often overwhelms my better judgement. In my mind, I am not fighting people, I am fighting an evil plot to deceive mankind. Also, please accept my apologies for not having this book professionally edited; right now I want this to be my unadulterated voice, even though I know it has many warts.
My current thinking is that I will next begin to produce basic commentaries on various biblical books that provide illustrations of how the spiritual perspective is being revealed. However, it remains to be seen what God has planned for my future, so I do not want to presuppose anything.
Blessings on your journey towards your promised land.
Brother Paul